bro it's horrible. a girl in the back of a gender studies elective a few years back raised her hand to give a short speech on her struggle to unlearn her own male socialization, which made her dangerous to the cis girls around her. i still think about her

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this is abusive by the way. when you do this, you are telling transfems they must make themselves smaller, more compliant, take up less space, not claim ANY epistemic legitimacy (i.e., never contradict you), in order to count as "not acting like MEN." it is a form of coercive control.

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And yeah, part of what “welcome to womanhood” can imply is said cis women doesn’t have an easy solution to a problem we may have, which more or less translates into “I thought you’ve been able to tough it out by now”

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To be fair I don’t think most people tell us this in jest, but it does keep trans women out of conversations in which their participation is very necessary

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people talk as if "female socialization" on this patriarchal society is somehow a neutral type of upbringing that’s also universally good and what everyone should aspire to. That plus the part where transfem people have never navigated the world like cis men do. It’s just so much nonsense.

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