Doing the shopping in ASDA today, the toddler got a bit boisterous after praise from several old ladies, & began crooning an improvised song at the top of her lungs, the only lyrics to which were: 'Everyone in the world has a penis' My crisis management skills have seldom been so tested.

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Colonel Brandon has donned his flannel waistcoat. Mr Woodhouse has gleefully cancelled every engagement for the next six months. Catherine Morland is looking for a scenic ruin in which to be scared of the lightning. Fanny Price has taken no precautions because nothing could make her any wetter.

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Remember that time he fell off his platform shoes after a cheese overdose? Those were the days.

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I unexpectedly participated in a bike race today, the Mûr de Ned, a quirky and joyful community event hosted by @nedboulting.bsky.social in Lewisham. My first Hill Climb since The Tumble in the 90s (didn’t go well). Photos of my actual ride yet to emerge. Full report in newsletter next week. (1/2)

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In other exciting news I signed up with a new UK literary agent last week who loves Everything Will Swallow You, so hopefully things are turning a corner.

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