SO THIS MOTHERFUCKER USED REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY SAYING I CAN GO TO BLUEWATER AND ENJOY MYSELF ONLY TO FUCKING MAKE IT SO ID NEVER WANT TO GO AGAIN AND MADE IT AS FUCKING UNAPPEALING AS POSSIBLE! AND HE FUCKING DIDNT SAY HOW ARE YOU, BUT RATHER SAID WHY I DIDNT GET HIM ANY FUCKING CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!

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I'm trapped on an alien planet for No Reason and it doesn't get better. The alienation gets worse. The exhaustion gets worse. The trauma gets worse. The poverty and precarity gets worse. The persecution gets worse. This is Autistic life. 🧍🏼‍♀️ A pointless decay.

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To be an Autistic girl is to know that you're definitely a different species, but one that hasn't been taxonomized yet. You know you're severely disabled by something, but the medical system hasn't created a name for it yet. So you suffer alone.

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Why am I different? Why can't I achieve anything? Why are simple things hard for me? Why can't I socialise? Why does change disable me? Why is there so much detail in the world? Why do I have obsessive interests? Why have I never had friends?

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Why can't I function outside my routines? Why are new things confusing? Why am I so sensitive to everything? Why was I bullied for being different?

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