Not to be to emotionally whipped rn but like what do you do when something feels like your fault but the person you feel like you fucked over in that regard doesn’t see it that way and tells you it’s not that way but It’s not so much that you can’t believe them but the pain of having it ever feel so

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Real in the first place makes it make you feel more insane then if it were just agreed upon that you had made a mistake like why can’t I conceptualize receiving unconditional love I even have grown up in a family that gave it to me and my reaction then and now was straight up anxiety attacks ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

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I don’t know how to live my life without thinking I’m a bad person but I also am sickened by every action I do that seems like this masturbatory, woe is me type shit where my value has to be both passively maintained through positivity and activity contrasted with my actions being at fault by

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Virtue of who I am and the legitimate mistakes I have had made in the past I don’t know how to let go of an apology

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😑 thats sso crazy like its not just in movies bro

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