I have a social inept but kind hearted uncle who keeps using phrases like "water get place" and "liquid-sourcing shaft". He means well.

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For some reason the teachers told us Madonna was coming to perform for us, and for a week we were beside ourselves with excitement. When the assembly finally came, a teacher sadly informed us Madonna was stuck in traffic and wouldn't make it. Why any of this was said I don't know

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More a bizarre thing that *didn't* happen in an assembly, sorry. Somebody once suggested that probably a teacher was going to dress up and perform as Madonna (again, why?) and then shat it at the last minute, which seems most likely

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Was she just unsure what she had purchased, maybe? I loved the vagueness. In a few of my picture titles I've referred to an "animal" rather than a specific one because of that.

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