I wish everyone was lucky enough to be able to do this, but *by God* I'm glad I can. I still have lots of bad health stuff both mental and physical, but I can *deal* with it, and I'm not having to actively make it worse just to eat and house myself.

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But I quit, and concentrated on building my Patreon, first through blogging and then more successfully podcasting. I can now support myself very comfortably doing something I enjoy, that I'm good at, and that I think is a net benefit to the world. I never, ever lose sight of how lucky I am.

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My subconscious is not subtle. I still held down a day job for another three years. By the end my blood pressure was regularly topping 200/150. That's "your brain is literally going to explode" territory.

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I had a good job, doing stuff I was good at, relatively well paid... yet I remember one time waking up screaming with a blood pressure headache after a dream where my manager chained me to my desk, set fire to the office, and danced around chanting "now you'll never leave" as I burned.

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I am not a well man, either physically or mentally. I'm by no means the most unwell person I know (spoonies tend to flock together) but while I was holding down a job in the 2010s it was literally killing me to do so. I am simply not constitutionally equipped for day-job life.

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