We smile because this is how we save the world <3 x

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James Bond would be in the Epstein Files.

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I was terrible at words until age 10. Geometry teacher was aghast when I said 'circumcise a circle.' Yeah, circumscribe but you try long words at that age.

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At work: arse suddenly itched, I scratched, and found fingers covered in shit which I hurriedly wiped on the nearest piece of paper. This turned out to be an important letter for which the boss is still angrily searching.

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I tell myself I still love my husband, but I have to face up to the fact that he squirts salad cream onto his pancakes and I don't know what to do about it.

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