[Wife on phone with fridge repair helpline] Wife: Oh, you want us to move it? Okay, hang on I'll need my husband to do that. Me: [barbaric yawp] Wife: Okay, we're looking at the back now. Me: Tell them I'm very strong. Wife: ... Me: TELL THEM Wife: Yes, my... strong... husnband was able to move it.

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Good morning ☕

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I’ve already had 3 and I just started working 30 mins ago

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I decided that I'll never get down to my original weight & I'm okay with that. After all, 7 lbs. 5 oz. Is just not realistic.

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11yo: Hopefully [my teacher] will like my project. Me: Do *you* like your project? 11yo: Yes. Me: Do you think you tried your best? 11yo: Yes. Me: Well then, let me tell you a secret. If that's the case, then it really doesn't matter a damn bit what your teacher thinks of it. :)

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