Support the RNLI 🇬🇧❤️ 38d.gs/jpcf

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Look, I know I walked out on you and the kids and tried to cop off with your best mate, but it turns out I wasn’t as much of a catch on the dating sites as I had thought, so I’m willing to come back but only if you sign up for the full sports package and build me a man cave. 

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I can’t look at a Toblerone without thinking of Billy Connolly saying it was typical of the Swiss to make a chocolate bar you can’t eat without hurting yourself!

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Now at the point in the holidays where I wonder how on earth I’m going to manage without an afternoon nap

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If Labour really want to strengthen democracy they should start here 👇👌

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