Always nice to get to sing “Amhrán na bhFiann”, the Irish national anthem at 8.30 in the morning in my kitchen. Well done Lara Gillespie!

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Please stop the "and it got me thinking..." posts on LinkedIn. "I climbed to the top of Ben Nevis today and it got me thinking", "I went for a 10k run this morning and it got me thinking", "I did some voluntary work at the Foodbank and it got me thinking". Fuck off.

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My greatest achievement in life is that at the age of 78, while most of my body has gone to pot, my sphincter muscles are strong, so that I can still fart loudly enough during my daily walks in the park to startle small children and make dogs bark without shitting myself.

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'Flatulent' Bristol bus driver loses discrimination case after colleague complains of bad smell

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Turned on the tele box midway thru’ The Great Escape film. Ives played by Angus Lennie had just been shot by the Nazis. From Glasgow, Lennie went to Eastbank Academy which counts amongst its alumni the fondly remembered Janey Godley. That education also gave us classic moments like this …

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