The problem with social media is that just a few seconds of scrolling leads to cutting remarks like this

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I think the move is to scatter them in different hiding places throughout your home to increase your likelihood of discovering one by accident, like a mafioso in witness protection hiding guns everywhere for the inevitable day when the mob comes for them

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check your garden for sissor plants coming up from the sissors that got planted. never works for me in spite of all the sissors that went into the ground where else could they be goddamnit! but you live in a more salubrious climate

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I couldn't understand why the scissors were always misplaced. I finally decided to stop buying them. A month later I found a note in the scissor drawer that read "stop trifling with the laws of nature and bring the drawer more scissors."

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i found two pairs of scissors while i was cleaning up today but it’s too late, i already bought a three pack of scissors last week out of frustration. the cycle begins again. there are scissors everywhere. there will be no scissors when i try to wrap christmas presents in december.

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