Would love to see our American free speech organization stick up for Sally Rooney... Alas.

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I accept. I am still thinking about the military historian who said, in a discussion about me on this app, “she’s so insufferable” because I posted the American establishment doesn’t care about American children, with respect to a five year old who had been murdered in a school shooting last week.

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With the election looming, the GOP is calling in the big guns. Which means having a megachurch freak named Timmy dispatch an army of walleyed 23yo home-school casualties with YouTube diction to opposing candidates' rallies, where they will demand those candidates reject and denounce the WNBA.

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Please stop wishing me a happy birthday a day early, that's tomorrow, it's bad luck, several of you have hexed me and I'll be in church all day now trying to wash the curses off in the font, thanks for ruining my last day of youth.

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It's the last day of my forties. At midnight the last drop of youth will evaporate and my sunset years will begin, all delicately-embroidered crimson velvet smoking jackets, heavy colognes and rambling anecdotes. My signature drink: Floradix. My signature sandwich: two parallel Ryvita, unbuttered.

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