i have nothing to lose posting whatever here so i'll ramble a bit: i never know how to deal with the aspect of parasociality when sharing myself online. on one hand, i really do love talking to people about my interests, but on the other, it often bleeds into the territory of "i'm not sure you see

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me as an actual person." i appreciate praise and compliments as much as the anyone—yet sometimes it feels as though it crosses into a form of idolization. i am not some infallible being only deserving of mindless praise and to be treated as such is frankly insulting. many times i have had

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people degrade themselves to ingratiate me in asking me to be friends with them, which is one of the strangest feelings in the world. the amount of times i've recieved "i want to be mutuals but i think you're too cool for me" or something along those lines is not uncountable but it's enough to

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establish a pattern. and i always wonder—why? what is it about me and the way i present myself makes you feel like you have to grovel on your knees for my attention? what is it that makes you think i think so highly of myself that i wouldn't want to talk to someone who shares my interests? i guess

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that some people might find the follower count intimidating but at the end of the day it's literally... twitter followers. i am interactive with people, i comment on my friend's posts, i try to respond to all of my replies; i do everything to make myself as approachable and well meaning as possible

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