As was also pointed out to me, this is also not a new phenomenon--it is simply much more visible in our age of video calls, facebook messaging, etc. Even 40 years ago, if you moved, say 100 miles away from home, the estrangement pretty much took care of itself.

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We are doing more individualism when we tell boomer parents to just figure it out and stop being shitty. How can we create the social conditions that encourage people to go to therapy? How is our punitive, bad vs. good approach to problems contributing to a culture of trauma healing via bootstraps?

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My estranged parent died a few weeks ago and they can’t send me any more unsolicited messages anymore so I count that as a win

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Many boomers mad at their adult kids cutting them off sound like they're bitching on the Red Lobster FB page

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It's always a "shock" to narcissistic people. I guarantee they've been told very clearly and repeatedly exactly what the problem is, likely for years, but their reaction will still be "I was blindsided! This came out of nowhere!"

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