[getting up from the dinner table at the restaurant I insisted we eat at as I watch my best friend the chef exit the bathroom with visible shit all over his hands] on second thoughts I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m leaving. You should stay though, I already ordered the sushi for you.

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I’m a British columnist. It’s the 10th year of Donald Trump’s political career and the 6th year of his presidency—his second term, punctuated by a failed putsch, catastrophic war ongoing—and I’m publishing a piece mulling how I got fooled by him. Tune in next week for my opinions about healthcare.

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It’s fortunate that Littlejohn and Burchill both came to this awakening mere weeks before the midterm elections of Trump’s second term, in which he is expected to fare disastrously and after which he will be officially a lame duck, theoretically with diminished power and cache on the right.

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PREVIOUS FOOD SHORTAGES: Hoarding is a selfish, antisocial activity. THE 21ST CENTURY NEOLIBERAL FOOD SHORTAGE: We warned you. If you haven't been hoarding, I don't know what to tell you. Bad luck idiot. See you in hell.

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Just as I thought we were going to manage the continental leg of the trip without using a taxi, Storm Austen said "LOL, nope." A 20 minute walk to the station in 70mph winds? I'll pass.

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