I recently completed level 11, 000 of Candy Crush. Apparently this puts me in the global top 1% of players. I'm elite. I have never been more ashamed of an achievement.

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My 4 year old daughter has a rewards jar and when she fills it she gets a massive treat, my husband is stricter than me and will take the points away for bad behaviour, but when he's not looking I add extra points into the jar, she's so sweet and I want her to get her treat.

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On my wedding day I was so nervous I introduced myself to the photographer as 'Diane'. She was Diane. I was the groom.

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Man, late 30s. Recently had to accept just how unfit I am following a threesome with two women that nearly killed me trying to keep up. Felt like Ross from friends when I more-or-less had to just stand there and watch them whilst thinking of a sandwich.

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After a night out, bought a prostate massager as part of a complicated fantasy that ends in the wife agreeing to try anal. In reality, I'll try it once and then the kids will be embarrassed to deal with it after I pass

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