It's not our fault that we grew up mistaking attachment for connection. We're not born understanding what we need & deserve-- all we know is what we experienced. Turns out, many "choices" we made to be consistent w/ a toxic comfort zone weren't actual choices. Grace over guilt.

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"Trauma bonding" is the confusing attachment we feel toward people who hurt us-- but we need to remember that it's not "love" or a "choice." It's the kind of instinctive bond that a kid-- or a person of any age-- who has been starved of connection & forced to be dependent forms.

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Ignoring our own needs is 100% one of the most destructively selfish things we can do. Over time it practically guarantees we're going to flame out & be unable to support any person or pet we love. You're not The Exception who can run on empty indefinitely. The bill comes due.

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Continuing to engage w/ someone who is toxic to us, even if we're right, even if no one else is challenging them, at the expense of our safety & stability is a trap. There is NO argument or interaction, especially on the internet, worth sacrificing our safety & stability over.

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Man muss einfach mal wieder unterscheiden lernen: "Umstritten" ist, ob Ananas auf Pizza gehört. Die Wirkung der Corona-Impfung ist nicht umstritten. Die ist belegt. Die AfD ist nicht umstritten. Die ist rechtsextrem. Und ganz sicher ist nicht umstritten, wo die SS stand.

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