As a joke, my brother bought my partner string-backed leather driving gloves, thinking he'd get the Partridge reference and see the funny side. But he calls them a "game changer" and drives with them all the time, the stupid driving gloves twat.

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When you open the Pre-Sentence Report and read that the victim is a liar and the judge is corrupt and the jurors are all masons

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Matt Forde, plonker out, excitedly unlocking the Spitting Image Puppet Cupboard

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Happy Kicked In The Head By A Horse Day, to all who celebrate. It's the 7th anniversary of this absolute banger.

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Room empties out at the UN as Netanyahu begins his speech.

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