Sometimes I think about how as a teen I used to guiltily skip past "Sweet Liberty" on the Jane Eyre: The Musical cast album because it was "too feminist." I wish I could go back and hug that girl and let her know that it was okay to look out over boundless skies with God's wind in her hair.

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The bot farm bombings will continue until democracy improves

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I hate to brag but sometimes I am just utterly overcome by how well-hydrated my children are, and how meticulous they are about complete evacuation of their bladders, as well as thorough and exhaustive hand-washing, as long as it is after 9 pm and they've been told repeatedly to get back in bed

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Walt Disney: so how are we gonna beef up this Cinderella story to fill 90 minutes Writer: how about we have her befriend all the rodents. And make the cat a villain. And name him after Satan Disney: Disney: Disney: ...What are you smoking? Writer: uh, 3 packs a day like everyone else? It's 1948

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They should invent a necklace chain with a clasp that doesn't perpetually slide around your neck and clunk against the pendant

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