You know what be great CNBC: less Tom Lee TYIA

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“Christ, it’s been an hour and a half since I booted this thing up, and I’m still wandering around some cave while a king’s ghost offers exposition about the realm’s ongoing civil war.” — Rudy Kelleher, local gamer

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Just found Natalie Harp clinging to the ceiling in my kitchen. Had to get her down with a broom. Annoying.

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the year is 2027. gas costs $83 and lettuce is at war with us. however every location on every map now says AMERICA

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I totally envision Trump renaming the San Andreas Fault to Joe Biden’s Fault, and I am just putting this out there so I can say I predicted it one day.

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