Turns out St. Peter got him a compassionate use exemption for that new experimental Eli Lilly drug, you know, the one you can get if you're really old and have a lot of pull. Says the pounds are just melting off now, he's been working with a personal trainer, and will be back on tour really soon!!

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He was so relieved. Said he’d pass that on to Lisa Marie. Anyway, our 20-minute convo ended on an optimistic note. He mentioned he was trying to lose all that weight he gained in the ’70s, but the GLP-1s he had tried hadn't worked for him.

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Initially I was confused, but then I remembered his hearing isn't so great at 91, especially after all the concert tours and everything else he's been through. I explained: “Elvis, it's okay. The old orange hound dog in the White House is after *Greenland*, not Graceland.”

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Elvis called me this morning. We spoke for, maybe, 20 minutes or so. He was kind of upset at first: He's been watching a lot of cable news lately, and he said he'd heard Trump wanted to take over his old mansion in Memphis and tear it down and build a huge casino resort there.

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Every picture he is in, he looks like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

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