Gail Simone

gailsimone.bsky.social

18 October 2026 06:20

And now Tony, you remember Tony from film school, right, plot for Scream 7? And now he’s in Vancouver making critically acclaimed indie film? Well, he insisted on coming. He’s worried about you. We’re ALL worried about you. Tony…?

Gail Simone

gailsimone.bsky.social

18 October 2026 06:19

DAPHNE: Scream 7. Screamy. Double Scream Seven. DAPHNE: (giggles uncomfortably through tears). DAPHNE: Remember when we were just kids, and so excited there was going to be a new Scream movie? We were just kids, what did we know? DAPHNE: Then I saw the movie. DAPHNE: YOU BROKE MY HEART!

Gail Simone

gailsimone.bsky.social

18 October 2026 06:19

TONY: Hey, buddy…! Listen, I heard about the casting snafu and I was telling everyone, don’t worry, my man Scream 7 GOT this, right? TONY: (shakes head) What happened, man? TONY: I mean this franchise is like, BUILT on false clues and red herrings, yeah? TONY: Did a Magic 8-Ball right this?

Gail Simone

gailsimone.bsky.social

18 October 2026 06:15

SCREAM 7: I…I HATE MYSELF. (Friends gather round to comfort him) FRIENDS: We know, plot of Scream 7. DAPHNE: And you’re right to do so. TONY: Why did you kill all the suspects? I mean, uh, there there. There there. DAPHNE: It’s not your fault. Well, I mean, it IS. TONY: Any donuts left?

Gail Simone

gailsimone.bsky.social

18 October 2026 06:15

(Scream 7, offended, gets up, trips onto the coffee table, stumbles to the doorway…turns and screams in outrage SCREAM 7: YEAH? SCREAM 7: GHOSTFACE WAS ALMOST THE BARISTA AT THE STARBUCKS. SCREAM 7: I HATE MY AUDIENCE SO MUCH. (Breaks down, Daphne puts a blanket over his shoulders).