Obviously the pain of being cut off is real! But I guess I don’t understand why the social crisis is their pain—the phenomenon’s upshot—when the real crisis is clearly the phenomenon’s cause: parent-led parent-child relationships that the child finds intolerable.

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As with anti-divorce arguments, the underlying premise here is that any explicit break in the family is a grave moral violation. And the underlying premise *there* is that some family members get to be immune to consequence, and others are prevented from complaint. Imagine defending that!

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It’s telling that the cut-off parents in these sob stories are almost always cut off by daughters—we socialize women not just to absorb abuse, but to misinterpret abuse as bids for care. Meanwhile men are socially expected to distance themselves from their natal families anyway.

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It’s bonus mega embarrassing that the overwhelming tack of these articles is concern for the feelings & experiences of the cut-off—giving them personhood and agency, while withholding same from the people doing the cutting off. (I also simply do not care if some cutting-offers are “overreacting”!)

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It is fascistic and misogynistic and honestly also pretty embarrassing to argue that familial relationships should be the moral exception to freedom of association!

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