It def doesn’t sound super healthy that he would be angry about you venting, regardless of who it’s to, but I know how personality disorders can really complicate relationships and actions and how secure one feels with themselves. That’s tough.

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It’s intuitive for some people but others could use an instruction manual. And yeah, it’s perfectly normal for you to confide in your friends when things get a little heavy. My husband knows my best friend gets 10 minute audio messages about him. He doesn’t love it but he’s never been mad about it.

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You could try looking into co-regulation as a concept. I think sometimes it’s hard for people to know what’s expected of themselves emotionally, especially when they’ve got personality disorders. Emotional support is one of those social norms my husband struggles with due to autism.

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I actually don’t think it’s that uncommon to have this brand of communication issue. Or at least it’s been common for me and some of my IRL friends. Men are taught ti put their heads down and push through problems on their own without making a fuss or crying.

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It’s like you took this thought directly from my brain oh my god. It’s so isolating but hopefully being here on bsky can help take the edge off. 🙏🏻 ur def not alone in this feeling.

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