The stupid, self-pleased smile he makes when he tells the office guys about the Jump To Conclusions mat is some of the funniest shit ever

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you do not "have to hand it to" the guy but he was right about the eggs. but not totally correct because that's why you drop the stupid fork and just use a damn whisk. sorry if this is more incoherent than my usual vagueposts but it's an important message for those who need to hear it

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This is what we're doing this week *punches the air so hard I pull something and have to lie down*

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This lady is stupid. That kid can’t hold political office

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had a dream that the revolution came and i had to assassinate a prominent online personality for relaying troop movements to the brownshirts via secret code on podcast guest appearances. anyway none of you better be doing that because it turns out i’m very uncompromising

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