Pubs and clubs should hand out party bags at the end of the night. No one's going to be starting fights when they've been given a slice of cake, a balloon and a toy for the way home.

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oh y'know. just watching the rain pass by 🌧

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In my early 20s I was occasionally shagging my Mum's mate who was then early 40s. Forty years on they're both in the same nursing home. The weekly visits are now the most excruciatingly toe-curling hours of my life.

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my day is looking like I may eat a spoonful of biscoff from the jar.

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My eyebags have eyebags, but that's ok because I'm cosy and I'm gonna be having some wine soon 🍷

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