*sniffling* Motherly voice: "Ellie, what's wrong?" Child voice: "Coach says he has to look in my panties or I can't play softball. I'm scared, mom!" Motherly voice: "WHAT?!?" Anncr: "I-638, written by the people protecting the Epstein files, would require invasive genital exams. Vote no on I-638."

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HOLY SHIT! FOOTBALL PLAYER NAMED BEAR ALERT! Y'all, this is the Kenai Central football team in Alaska. Because its Alaska, the State Championshipos were THIS weekend. Kenai won d3. Earlier this year, star player Bear Williams scored 5 TDs **FIVE DIFFERENT WAYS**. it was his FIRST game in Alaska.

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he’s just so good at being like “this is a bad faith question and you’re annoying for even asking it“ ironically, the media loves this because they are masochists lol

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After that half it’s getting a little hard to argue Mormonism shouldn’t be considered a top 5 faith at this point in the season

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I really would have stayed at this apartment forever if we could have tbh, it's very bittersweet but we got into an HDFC a mile away and it's probably the only long term play we're likely to have

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