Does anybody remember when some guy named Derek tried to gotcha Doug Jones and the senator barely paused enjoying his ice cream cone to say, “Why are you here, Derek?” We quote that like 3 times a week in this household. Anyway Tommy just got Dereked X 1000.

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Living in Chicago would be even better if there was 15% less poop smell

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It is simply too fucking scary out there

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I think it’s a conservative estimate to say I nearly get hit by at least one negligent driver on about 60 percent of my runs in broad daylight in Chicago. Way too many cars and nobody gives a shit about stop signs. Pedestrians here could use more NYC fuck-you energy, imo.

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look, i miss twitter, not X. twitter was fun. X sucks ass. my life hasn't ended by leaving X

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