and that was based off all the stories i read and watched

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i've already gone past the stages of being confused on it all and accepted it all as me while acknowledging that i'm just human and not slotting myself into good and bad but when i think about it like this, i pity myself a tiny bit. heck, i even reserved life experiences for the moment i found love

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hence, it appeared as a reckless silly newborn with a himbo personality who just entered society while seemingly trying to think ahead ... some part of me that wanted to escape myself everything around me and live a life as if it was for the first time

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but the issue is, the default already holds both a hyperawareness + meta-cognition while also holding a lack of experience the masking thought ahead too far, while not experiencing what was actually working in present time for people

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i pondered on it a bit and came to the conclusion that it was developed through the idea of "resetting" and going on a clean slate from what my actual life had entailed ... sort of like a criminal changing into a new life after his crimes, except i'm not one ofc

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