So far this morning Reg has: - dived headfirst off of a chest of drawers onto Margo Leadbetter - opened all of the kitchen cupboards - got the zoomies so intensely that he toboggan slid down the stairs He is currently sat in said chest of drawers plotting, I assume, my demise

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No one does aeroplane ears *quite* like Smol Paul

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I bet not one of those thugs protesting for little Fanny Tommo are allowed to see their kids unsupervised.

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one of my proudest moments was being told by a former Gove staffer that he once angrily proclaimed: "I am NOT an eldritch horror!" in a team meeting, because of me.

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HI HUMAN I LUV U OH LOOK IT IS DINNER TIME HAHA CRAZY HAHA GONNA TAP YOUR FACE WITH PURE LOVE AND PLEASE NOTE NO CLAWS EVEN THOUGH CLAWS ARE TECHNICALLY POSSIBLE BUT NOTE I DIDN'T USE THEM

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