The takeover of Twitter was a preview of what we're all living with now and a stark example of why you can't let any one person have too much money: they go insane and make themselves everybody's problem

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I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that* *look my dog straight in the eye and tell him he can’t have a little bit of my cheese

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I hate when people say you were born with talent. I didn't fly out of the womb with a tiny pencil in my hand. I mean, that would have been cool, albeit dangerous, but no, I was born without the pencil. I had to spend years and years practicing to get where I am and I still have a lot to learn!

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I found the most delectable bottle of Kentucky Bourbon the other day and I just thought you should know that you are loved.

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I personally would send him to Mars on his own one way ticket

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