A little girl's car was hit with 335 bullets. She begged for help for hours. An ambulance was sent, it was shelled and both paramedics killed. The little girl's body was found 12 days later, alongside her 6 family members. Pointing this out is anti-Semitic and gets you kicked off music tours.

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Since it's suicide prevention day I'd like to say that, as someone who's been suicidal and has attempted to take my own life, sometimes I wish I'd gone through with it when I see how many people don't know the difference between a Chinese and a chippy.

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Right, I've got an idea for an alternative Patriot™ group but instead of stopping the boats and painting roundabouts we blockade Asda and prevent anyone wearing pyjamas from going in. You scruffy cunts.

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You might have to turn up for the results of this one, Nige.

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