roast me all you like pete holmes. at the end of the day, you're still only tied with me as a 7th seed in boston dot com's best boston comedian tourney

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If Zohran Mamdani or Abdul El-Sayed had used the word “Shylock” as an insult, the ADL would be attacking them by name relentlessly. But Donald Trump used it, so we get a generic condemnation of the word without any specific reference to who actually used it, and with no assumption of intent.

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i feel kind of bad. this year a bunch of us sports fans on bluesky started posting stuff like "the knicks won the nba finals" and "indiana won the national college football title." it was funny for a while, but we've dragged it on so long that people who don't watch sports think they actually did

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the cops showed me his ring of shaved-down keys he used for stealing cars, complete with the one that opened "the club" which the cops had previously sold to me when my prior car got stolen. then at the grand jury it turned out it was the same guy both times

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then we stopped driving old 4runners i guess is the moral of the story

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