Seconds later the darkness came in As if all the eyes in the world Had chosen then to blink

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When the kids were young, I'd do a slow mo run to the microwave, saying 'noooo' and stop it with one second to go, thus saving the entire planet from disintegration. They're all grown up now but when no-ones around, I still do it. You're welcome btw, me saving your lives.

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Uncle recently died. As a kid I thought he was quite a cool hippy type person. Just before his death he was saying that people in boat crossing the channel should be shot, plus other racist shite. The small inheritance I received gone straight to RNLI

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French guy in the UK with half-English Kids. When my kids are at school I go on their Ipads watch Youtube shorts about PSG, Mbappe, Olise or Barcola, in the hope of tweaking the algorithms; and it seems to work. They can't grow up to become 'it's coming home'-idiots.

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I was quite disgusted to find out that people raise and lower toilet seats by hand. I've always used my foot for that my entire life.

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