Me four days ago on TikTok: "STOP SPECULATING YOU ASSHOLES. YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HELICOPTER FLYING." Guy in a business meeting with me today: "I just wanted to say, I used to fly Blackhawk helicopters..." Me: 😶 Him: "...and I really appreciated your tiktok." Me: 😮‍💨

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people talk about "looking for a needle in haystack," but i feel like that would take a long time. needles are small and easy to lose even in the best of circumstances. if one were hidden in a haystack, it seems you'd have to painstakingly sift through every last piece of hay to find it. what a pain

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Forgot to milk myself before work and my udder burst on a team check-in over zoom. That's how udders work, if they don't get milked they pop and they're gone forever, just a lot of popped skin hanging there on zoom. It's important you understand that part. And that I have an udder. Had.

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shout out to chuck for being the world's best dog brother since day one. loves the kid to pieces

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so i think im a curlya enjoyer and tbh i probably always was however a lot of the people who like it are insufferable antis n i did NOT want to associate with that side of the fandom

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