Shout out to this day in 1993. My pal The Monk rang me at my godawful job to get me to fuck work off and join some pals in watching Star Wars trilogy and drinking tequila slammers and beers whilst doing so. He told the person answering the phone my dad had been seriously injured in a car accident.

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Who names their child Boris?? I mean she’d have to be blonde with pigtails.

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The next remake of The Omen features a child named Tommy instead of Damien.

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The year is 2078. Beleaguered Labour Chancellor Endtimes Oppenheimer tells the nation that a century of austerity can only be reversed by a brand new Terminal 12 at our flagship airport.

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Half of the country have said they wouldn’t fight for it in a war. It’s hard to fathom why.

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