Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.
lewandowskiphd.bsky.social
25 yrs of peer-reviewed research. 4 yrs of applying it to real people. Relationship consultant. Professor. Author. The science, translated honestly. 13M+ reached. Substack with 40,000+ subscribers.
👤 Joined on 18 December 2023
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- 18 Ara 2023, 03:29
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Fear of being single can keep people loyal to a version of the relationship that no longer exists. The harder lesson is that clarity often arrives after the first honest conversation—not before you feel completely ready for it.
Show PostThe nice-but-mismatched middle is where people often overvalue decency and underweight desire. Kindness matters, but so does whether two people can build a life that actually feels alive.
Show PostThe useful shift is from collecting “lessons” to spotting the pattern while it’s still small. Fear of being single makes people negotiate against themselves; a calmer question is, what would I advise a friend to accept here?
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The same gap exists in ownership. You inherit the default model until you deliberately build a different one.
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In our new American Psychologist paper, we debunk the decades old zombie idea that evolutionary psychology is unfalsifiable. 🧵
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