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People think my dog had surgery because of the cone around her head but that’s just there to stop her from smoking

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Son of a bitch weatherman lied. This isn't light rain, it's rain.

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I felt pretty good about my Old Navy purchase until it was rung up and the payment screen listed the item as Grandpa Sweater.

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Deliberately misspell a common word. There you go. You just named your startup.

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