Comedians wanna play the O2. Footballers wanna play Wembley. And historians…? Next month I’m playing Westminster Abbey! Pretty chuffed about it, tbf I’m gonna be discussing posthumous celebrity and the illustrious occupants in Poet’s corner www.westminster-abbey.org/abbey-events...

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ok i'm done being polite. do not mention these fucking hot springs to me again. i do not have fresh socks or a fucking toothpaste, i am not getting in the goddamn hot springs in this state

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So we’re fostering this kitten who was too afraid to leave his space at animal control after they trapped him as a several week old kitten, and now he sleeps like this after three days. We’ve named him Bootsy.

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it's an honor just to be nominated for the coveted Guy Who Never Shuts The Fuck Up Award

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If Manchester United were covered as maliciously as Spurs, more people would be talking about how they spent half a billion on wingers to replace Marcus Rashford only to end up with Marcus Rashford.

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