Jon Stewart to Matthew McConaughey:

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North Dakota Apologizes For Contributing Nothing To Nation’s Greatness

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After a long day at the aquarium, the otters help tidy their toys away. Payment is made promptly and entirely in ice cubes.

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The most ordinary man imaginable came to my home state to tell me to ‘get out of America’ while he & Absent Ashley enjoyed the comfort of buildings my ancestors helped build. Imagine standing on the shoulders of the ppl who built this country & then telling their descendants they don’t belong here/2

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I don't wanna COUCH my words here: I know JD Vance, his eyeliner, and absent Ashley Moody are used to running away from people when things get tough because they care more about themselves and their billionaire buddies than the people they represent. But this is my home. /1

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