Trump Downplays Significance Of Trump Tower Found On Epstein Island https://theonion.com/trump-downplays-significance-of-trump-tower-found-on-epstein-island/

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Down at my local Hardee's, things are noticeably changing. The usual MAGA group that commandeers the big table in the lobby every morning NEVER wear their MAGA hats anymore. They used to brag out loud about all the "great" things Trump is doing. Now all they talk about is fishing and their kids.

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Nothing you do in your entire life will ever be this embarrassing

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The President has 2 settings: diarrhea and asleep

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I once was at a museum wearing a rugby shirt and one of these evil docent motherfuckers came up telling me historical facts about rugby. It wasn’t a sports museum, he just knew about it and felt compelled.

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