Congratulations to Richard Tice on his marriage to Isabel Oakeshott, eight years after first shagging her behind his wife's back.

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Genuinely feel sorry for this young married couple. Apparently their suitcase containing the lubricating gel, whips, little blue tablets, open crotch tracksuit trousers, flap moisturiser and anal fungus spray has been lost by British Airways. Their honeymoon is ruined. 😔

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In your Super Soar Away Reformer this week: Thursday Night Bath Time Bingo! ‘Rupert Lowe Ate My Hamster!’ ‘My wife is wearing skirts the size of four teabags!’ Agony Aunt Sarah replies. Win a balaclava and a year of free drinks at Wetherspoons in our exciting new competition!

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Man City have just taken the lead in the Indoor cycling.

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