Good morning. As a (comparatively) successful author I feel it’s time to branch out in my career. As a result, I’m excited to be stepping into the world of professional football. Since I’m physically incapable of playing football at a professional level I will be hiring what I call a “ghostballer”

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got real cold real fast in my basement appartment but i can't be in the morning zoom call in my bathrobe so ive been doing blanket on my legs. I understand why grandmas do this

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Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume? Sysadmin: It's a security measure to ensure vulnerable parts of the network can not interact with critical systems.

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Apparently I've been voted "Tumblr's favourite John", which is equal parts flattering and baffling. Or is it perhaps a curse? Impossible to say.

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I'm one month away from my tenth anniversary at work and i have to be worried about my job security again lmaoo

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