😡 I need my pants fixed, fast and for cheap, but all my searches for “tailor swift $19.89” keep redirecting me to Spotify??

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“If my theory of relativity is proven correct, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew.”

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Bounced in a massive trampoline park for 2 hours but somehow I don't feel tired

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Bill Waybourn should really do something about all the people dying while in care of the Tarrant County Jail before he talks about Talarico, js

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Happiest of birthdays to my favorite kid who is now NINE. (The baby photo is the earliest one in my Google photos; F was a few weeks old.)

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