The coffee shop I’m in is playing the main theme from Schindler’s List.

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Asked a friend to join in a game of BIG WALK and realized shortly after that I had actually typed out BIG WANK. They still haven’t responded but that answer is gonna open up some interesting possibilities.

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Is there a dating app-style thing but for finding people who can watch movies with you and don’t fall asleep halfway through?

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It’s that time of year again when I can offload all these human teeth into trick or treaters’ bags without looking suspicious or maybe it’s suspicious but I don’t care whatever.

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Saw this tiny lady wandering around while out on a walk and didn’t see any other human around. She refused to tell me where she lived so I knocked on doors until someone finally said yes that was indeed their dog. This good deed frees me up to do something hideous now. That’s how balance works.

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