Disappointing but not going anywhere

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it is hard for me not to get obsessive about the diagnosis, thinking that ill never change and a lot of bad things. my first step is to barely get in touch with my mom, and it is hard but shes the main focus of negativity and the only thing that makes me feel worthless for my existence

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but it will get better. i know. it is hard to see rn but i wanna learn to think that way. as someone whos avoidant and dependant at the same time it is hard because my opinion and feeling on things changes so drastically, i hate it. but its okay. at least now i know what has been happening

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//vent? update - since i was very vocal about my breakup and my life a few months ago, i feel like doing an update cause a lot has happened since august... to summarize it very quickly: my bf and i are back together, i feel a lot better with my kitty and i got diagnosed with bpd

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This one is all too easy... Good old Uncle Orris, a terrible guardian and an all-around terrible man. need I say more (I needn't)

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