Listen, I know my handwriting makes it look like I’m a serial killer. Truth is, in 3rd grade this kid named Chris & I used to race each other to finish our cursive assignments. I smoked him every time, but I write like a psychopath because of it. It’s fine. I (probably) won’t hurt you.

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I know it’s not a competition and people contain multitudes, yada yada, but people who think Christmas is the superior holiday can sincerely bite my neck. Halloween atmosphere is IT.

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Nevermind, I’m up!

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A moment if you please…

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I think I found “the one” tonight….

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