Being an American during the 250th Aniversary of the United States feels a lot like if the terrorists in Die Hard demanded that the hostages continue having their Christmas party.

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Dear America, DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR PRESIDENT AND YOUR FECKLESS GOVERNMENT! WHY SHOULD EVERYONE ELSE SUFFER BECAUSE OF THIS INSANITY? Signed, Most of the rest of the planet

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*record scratch* yup, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got into this situation. well im a big piece of shit

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Pluribus fan who can't buy that Carole can have sex with Zosia without giving everybody on Earth an orgasm. Getting a phonecall from Laxmi that's just beyond livid

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Pour one out for all the rich Republicans who threatened to leave NYC if Mamdani won. Enjoy Tennessee or Arkansas-- I'm sure it will be very fulfilling and the social life will be totally comparable!

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