“Kiki, why are you lying on the floor? Don’t you want to lie on the COUCH with me?” “Human, I can’t nap when you’re PETTING me.” “I have the whole couch for myself! So I’LL lie on it!” “I’ll join you!” (jumps on couch) “What changed your mind, Kiki?” “I couldn’t bear to let YOU have it, human!”

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“Human, where’s the newspaper?” “I threw it out, Kiki!” “I wasn’t finished with it! I was on an interesting page—and I even marked my PLACE!” “With a HAIRBALL! So I got rid of the paper and cleaned the mess. No big deal, Kiki!” “Human, what you mean, ‘no big deal’? It was just in the NEWSPAPER!”

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When you realize your punishments as a child (stay home, take a nap, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

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Joe Walsh Is Right......

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“Kiki, can I pet you—without teeth and claws in the way?” “Not now, human! I’m busy STARING!” (later) “Ready for petting now?” “Nope, I’m busy GROOMING!” (later) “Now?” “Nope!” “Kiki, I waited all day! I’m dying to pet you! And you don’t look busy now!” “Nope, human! I AM busy…ignoring you!”

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