Believe it or not, I have a measure of national pride, just not in the flag-shagging way. I’m proud of a culture that names a boat Boaty McBoatface, has a bin-headed man as a political candidate, and puts Bob Mortimer on the telly. That’s the Britain I love. Not racist cunts smashing the place up.

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Like, y’all want us to think Britain’s the greatest country in the world when you’re showing us up in front of visitors, making the nation look like a bigger shithole than the unnamed city in Escape From New York? How dare you? You’re the violent invaders here, not the immigrants.

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Even if you don’t care about the families under siege by violent “protesters” (though you should), they’re seeing Britain for the first time and what they see is a swarm of barely coherent, lager-fueled, aesthetically atrocious, dangerously aggressive buffoons. That’s fucking embarrassing for us.

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One thing I don’t see mentioned about anti-immigration protests/riots is what a national shame they are. That anybody’s first experience in our country is immediate and violent abuse, whether they’re “illegal” or not, should be *embarrassing* to anybody who claims they’re proud of being British.

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he does this when I cook because he is an asshole and I'm too short to get him down so I have to push him with something like a ladle or spatula or roll of paper towels asshole

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